Category Archives: Blogging

A lament from behind the scenes

October 14, 2015Blogging, FaithBlogging, honesty, lament, Lamentations, painmelindacousins

When I started this blog nearly two years ago, my goal was to write a post every week. It quickly became apparent that aiming for at least once a fortnight was a more realistic goal. But this is my first post in almost two months – the longest break I have had.

There are a few reasons. I have been really busy and so finding time to write is a challenge. But if I’m honest with myself (and now you) there’s probably been some other reasons as well. I haven’t been sure if I have anything to say. Or maybe even more, I haven’t been sure if what I have to say is worth hearing. As someone who is often the teacher or the pastor or the leader or even somehow the “expert” … what I feel like I have most at the moment is lots of questions, irritations, hurts and fears. In a number of areas I feel like I haven’t been seeing much in black and white, but am almost overwhelmed by how much grey there is. And I’m never sure how much to let the rest of the world see my tears.

I think one of the dangers – or at least temptations – with blogging is something we all can experience on social media: feeling like we need to present our “best selves” for others to see. That we need to be “up” or “on”, that we need to look good and sound good and contribute something good for others. And so then we fall into the trap of comparing what we see from others with what is really going on for us and we always fall short.

So here’s the truth for me. The last six weeks or so have been really tough and not much fun. There’s been the usual busyness, coupled with things like the day to day frustrations of tasks that should be simple but end up taking way more time and energy that you anticipated, or people who say things that you hope they don’t really mean but you still feel really hurt by. I’ve had a number of performance and presentation events for my PhD, which have taken a fair chunk of my intellectual and emotional energy. I’ve also been struggling with really enjoying the new church family I am a part of while also realising that I still feel new and dis-connected and that it is really hard and takes time to make good friends and to feel part of a new community. Most significantly, I have had both a family member and a close friend pass away, and while there have been moments of grace within each of those situations, overall it has felt incredibly sad, massively unfair, emotionally exhausting, and just downright awful.

Yet I can say with confidence that I have a faith that is strong despite how I am feeling. I totally trust that God is good, even though it doesn’t feel like it every day in every situation. For me, part of my faith is being honest enough to say that I don’t have all the answers, I don’t understand, sometimes I question God and am angry with Him, and yet I continue to follow Jesus and look to Him to lead me through because I believe He is my hope and my salvation.

How can this all be true at the same time? Hope in the midst of darkness, joy through despair? For me, that’s what lament is all about.

In the middle of the last few weeks, I gave a presentation to a group of hospital chaplains on lament. I felt completely inadequate speaking to them – I might have lots of study and head knowledge to bring, but these are people who are sitting in the trenches, walking alongside death and despair, and I know that I couldn’t do what they do every day. Our time together ended up being an amazing day where I learned from them even as they learned from me. And together we looked at the psalmists and the prophets of the Old Testament and how they teach us to lament. To be honest about our questions and doubts and hurts and fears. To speak them aloud to God and to one another and to wait upon Him. (I’m really glad the authors of the Bible didn’t feel the only thing they could share with the world was their “highlight reels”!!)

The book of Lamentations (literally the “lament of laments”) recounts the darkest chapter in Israel’s history. It is not a book for the fainthearted. There are horrific stories and desperate cries and unanswerable questions. And if you read it from beginning to end looking for a conclusion that ties it all up with a neat bow, you will be sorely disappointed. But what amazes me is that at the very centre of this book of pain and despair, lie some of the most profound words of hope and faith that you will ever find. Words that have been spoken and sung by generations of people of faith all across the world, and words that I am continuing to sing today:

I remember my affliction and my wandering,

the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them,

and my soul is downcast within me.

Yet this I call to mind

and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;

therefore I will wait for him.”

(Lamentations 3: 19-24)

Today would be a nice day to be in Stratford-upon-Avon

March 10, 2014Blogging, Monday Travel PostsShakespeare, Stratford-upon-Avon, Travel, UK, Writingmelindacousins

Today is a public holiday, which would seem like a nice day to stay right here, but I have lots of writing to get done, so I’m thinking a place with some literary inspiration would be a nice getaway. Where better than the town of William Shakespeare?

Map of Shakespeare's Stratford — Map of Shakespeare’s Stratford

What did I love about Stratford-upon-Avon?

For starters, it’s a very pretty place.

It was April when we visited, so the trees were green, the river clear, and the flowers blooming.

We stayed in the most charming English Bed and Breakfast, although I’m not sure I could have coped with the colour scheme for more than a couple of days!

Coming from a country where a 100 year old building is OLD, it is pretty cool to see places that have been there for hundreds of years and wonder at all those who have passed through in that time and what might have occurred there.

The Guild Chapel has been hosting worship gatherings for 850 years.

The building next to the Guild Hall was added more recently … in 1490.

We had a great English pub lunch at The Garrick Inn, thought to be the oldest house in Stratford-upon-Avon, with parts of it dating back to the fourteenth century.

What did I learn from Stratford-upon-Avon?

Really, as a visitor, Stratford-upon-Avon is all about Shakespeare, and I learned much about him. Touring town is basically a walk through the places of his life.

Where he was born, the son of a glover who later became an alderman and High Bailiff but then fell on hard times and narrowly avoided debtor’s prison.

Shakespeare's Birthplace — Shakespeare’s Birthplace

The church where he was both baptised and buried, and likely attended services whenever he was in town.

His wife’s cottage, the older woman he married at 18, seemingly spent twenty years apart from while he wrote and performed, returned to live with and left his “second-best bed” to in his will.

Anne Hathaway's Cottage — Anne Hathaway’s Cottage

His daughter Susanna and her husband Dr John Hall’s house.

The site of the house where he died.

His grave and funerary monument inside the church.

And of course no Shakespearian trip would be complete without catching a performance of one his famous plays … we saw Henry IV, although it was back in London at Shakespeare’s Globe.

From all accounts, our William was a complicated man who had in many ways a messy life. But his legacy is a reminder of the incredible power of words … words that live on and are shared and inspire. Words that can even change lives. As someone who works with words in my teaching and preaching jobs, who is currently engaged in finding words to express my research and learning, and who enjoys playing with words in this adventure of blogging, that is a powerful reminder.

P.S. And finally, speaking of words, I’m not sure there is anywhere else but an Old English village where you would find such politely expressed parking advice.

No Room for Nuance

February 14, 2014Blogging, Politics, UncategorizedBlogging, Nuance, Politics, The West Wing, Twittermelindacousins

Recently a colleague commented to me (in person) about something I’d said in one of my blog posts. What I had written was a bit of a throwaway line, and while it wasn’t inaccurate, his point was that it needed greater nuance. I agreed, and mentioned that I am more than happy for those kind of things to be pointed out in comments – I love getting responses and differing ideas to what I share! But I take his point that in this format it can be very difficult to offer a nuanced perspective without being seen as disagreeing with or undermining the wider point.

One of the challenges with blogging is keeping posts short and readable. What gets sacrificed is the ability to provide nuance, details, explanations, caveats. Obviously this is even more so with platforms like facebook or twitter – it’s very hard to leave room for nuance in 140 characters!

When what is written on a blog or tweet is seen as a thought starter or a distillation of key ideas, and there is space to reply, comment, question and interact, it’s a great format. The problem as I see it arises when ideas expressed in these forms are taken as full and final statements, or when we assume that what someone has said is the only thing they think about a topic, or that they are not open to further discussion, or that new information would not change their perspective.

What really bothers me, however, is that this inability to leave room for nuance seems to be taking over in our national political climate. We demand full and final answers from our leaders, but we demand them in catchy sound-bites. In response we get slogans instead of policies, and leaders who are trying to govern by living up to those slogans.

Don’t we want the leaders of our nation to be people of nuance? People who change their mind when they receive new information and evidence, people who understand complexity and varying perspectives? People who grow and develop in their thinking and practice?

When our national political debate is reduced to un-nuanced, simplistic slogans, I think we all suffer. I am reminded of a quote from my favourite fictional politician, given in the context of a political debate where people are looking for a “ten word answer” which can form the headline or sound-bite for the next news cycle.

“Every once in a while, every once in a while, there’s a day with an absolute right and an absolute wrong, but those days almost always include body counts. Other than that, there aren’t very many un-nuanced moments in leading a country that’s way too big for ten words.”

President Josiah Bartlet, “Game On,” The West Wing

Photo by Marcia Reed NBC, via The West Wing Continuity Guide (Unofficial) — Photo by Marcia Reed, NBC, via The West Wing Continuity Guide (Unofficial)

What do you think? How can we make room for nuance, whether on social media or in political discourse?

Thinking Out Loud …

melindacousins.com